Turf Moor Diaries: John Terry Arrives - And Leaves - As Centre of Attention

It would not have mattered if Burnley had won 6-0 with a double hat-trick by goalkeeper Brian Jensen - unlikely on all counts, I confess - John Terry was always going to be yesterday's headline maker. And that was even before he went and scored the winning goal. His non-celebration suggested he had banned himself from displaying any happiness amid the ongoing controversy of superinjunctions, wagsharing, question marks over the England captaincy, and speculation about what disciplinarian national team manager Fabio Capello thinks of it all.

He may be a multimillionaire superceleb with a potentially legend-making World Cup ahead of him, but yesterday he was just one more man worrying what his missus was going to do to him when he got home from work.

I must have been psychic when, two weeks ago, in blissful ignorance of Terry's extra-marital activities, I sat down to write the following in my programme column for the Chelsea game.

"Celebrity does funny things to people," I wrote. "There are a few footballers around who could tell a story or two about that. Not to mention footballers' wives."

No sign of Mrs Terry on Saturday nor of Wayne Bridge's former girlfriend Vanessa Perroncel, now seemingly in the safe and comforting hands of Max Clifford.

I was writing about celebrity because fame, and what it does to the famous and non-famous alike, is the theme of my new novel, Maya, which is published this week. And I was writing about it in the Burnley programme not just to plug the book (a perfectly noble thing to do, I hope you agree) but also to reveal the latest manifestation of my Burnleymania, namely the weaving-in as small parts the surnames of our Wembley play-off winning team, of which more later.

Amazingly, with February almost here, this was our first home game of the year, and the first league visit of Chelsea in 35 years.

It was partly to catch a glimpse of superstars getting their first taste of the smallest dressing room in the Premier League, and partly because of the Terry drama, that the visitors' coach drew a bigger than usual crowd to witness its arrival at the Cricket Field stand.

Terry got a good response from the Chelsea fans - "there's only one England captain" - and the expected boos every time he touched the ball, cries of "cheat" and the occasional sexually charged chant from home supporters.

Perhaps all is fair in love, war and football as was suggested by the playing on the public sound system, as the players lined up in the tunnel, of Bryan Ferry's Let's Stick Together, with its line about the sacred nature of marriage vows.

He seemed a bit edgy in the opening minutes, and not even his biggest admirers, of which there remain many, would put this down as his most commanding performance. But he was commanding when he needed to be, rising to an 82nd-minute corner to restore his team's lead.

Nobody would dispute that Chelsea are a better team than Burnley (who says I can't be objective?) but there were a couple of periods during this match when Burnley were playing the better football.

True, we did not get inside their box - briefly - until the 24th minute and Petr Cech did not have a save to make in the first half.

But having gone a goal down when Nicolas Anelka finished off a move that showed Chelsea's sometimes bewildering pace and power, Burnley started the second half well and were rewarded with a lovely goal from Steven Fletcher.

It was our first goal under Brian Laws - who was given a great reception - and it unsettled Chelsea. Carlo Ancelotti flapped his arms in frustration as the pace and power suddenly became huff, puff and more misplaced passes than is usual.

Don't get me wrong. When they are purring, as they were for two or three passages of play, they are fantastic. But Burnley gave them a game, and for a few magical seconds, as Martin Paterson raced alone into the Chelsea half, we really thought a winning goal was on its way.

It was but sadly it came a few minutes later and was scored by man-of-the-moment Terry.

So for Laws it is played 4, lost 4. But two of those four were against the country's Big Two, and we played decent football against both. Next week, West Ham come to Turf Moor. Cue a week of six-pointer conversations of claret and blue fans north and south, whilst the rest of the football world continues to debate JT's personal and professional lives, and Capello wonders who he might play at left back if, as he did on Saturday, Ashley Cole injured himself. The fact that one answer might be Bridge explains in part why Terry didn't quite look himself.

PS - On the Burnleyfication of Maya
Let's start with the Wembley goalscorer. Jim (rather than Wade) ELLIOTT is an American film financier who attends a dinner party at Maya's house in London. When narrator Steve Watkins's wife Vanessa gets pregnant she visits her local GP, Dr BLAKE. A couple of guys called Alan THOMPSON and Brendan PATERSON team up in the marketing department of the logistics company where Steve works. One of their clients is a guy called Brian McCANN. JENSEN Logistics, a Danish company, is one of Steve's firm's competitors. Jens KALVENES pops up to send in his views to Sky News one day when Maya's marriage is making big headlines. So too Colin CALDWELL from Dubai and Pat DUFF from Cheltenham.

Several of our Wembley immortals are journalists. Lewis CARLISLE is crime correspondent for BBC Radio Five Live. Adrian ALEXANDER is a reporter on the London Evening Standard.

At a press conference Maya does in Washington, questions and comments come from, among others, Matt EAGLES of the BBC, Steven RODRIGUEZ, CBS, and Andrew GUDJONSSON of the New York Post.

In a further sign of my psychic powers, I took out a character named Coyle at the final proof stage. Owen Coyle was by then the club's best-known personality and I didn't want to make it too obvious what I was up to. Lucky though, given his subsequent defection to "bigger club" Bolton.


PPS - On Mr Watkins
Visiting fans might be interested to know that Steve, the narrator, is a Chelsea fan. His favourite player as a kid was Joey Jones. He can't always get tickets, preferred the club pre-Abramovich, and thinks Chelsea fans don't make enough noise at matches!

To be fair, they did ok on Saturday. Much noisier than Arsenal. On a par with United I'd say, and giving real support to Terry, which unfortunately he rewarded in the best way possible.