West Ham Go Old-School With Beckham While United's Old-Boy Network Creaks

In age-old tradition the Hammers this week added David Beckham to their list of unattainable transfer targets. West Ham's owners - David Sullivan and David Gold - are using that old trick of name-dropping superstars to persuade fans to buy season tickets. Incidentally, I hate name droppers and so does Elton John, he told me that last week at one of his parties.

West Ham have been linked with any number of has-beens this summer: Raul, Riquelme, Ronaldo (the fat one), and Ronaldinho to name but a few beginning with the letter r.

The Hammers usually sign big-name players right at the end of their career when all their pace, skill and enthusiasm is long gone and all they're left with is the name.

Jimmy Greaves tells the story that if you ask any Chelsea fan where he spent the best days of his career they will answer: "at Chelsea". Speak to any Spurs fan and they will tell you, "at Spurs". Ask the same question to a West Ham fan and they will reply: "At either Chelsea or Spurs".

Hills have opened a book on which of the stars of yesteryear will be making an appearance at Upton Park this season. Beckham is 9-4 to play for the Hammers, with Ronaldinho 9-2 and Raul 11-2. Stanley Matthews is 6-1.

Beckham might fancy pitching up at his old East End manor because, first, it puts him in London Olympic heartland and, second, it puts further distance between him and Posh. It's win-win, and since leaving Madrid he's rarely managed those sort of figures.

When Beckham moved to Los Angeles in July 2007, MLS commissioner Don Garber said that it would advance the sport in America. Nobody realised he meant the sport of tattooing.

It's the only transfer Becks has given his full attention to since his time in Los Angeles, which has been spent mostly in Milan.

The jury is still out on whether the millions that the American club splashed out on Beckham have been justified. So far his most notable performance has been restricted to posing in underpants showing off his body art.

Galaxy fans weren't expecting miracles from Beckham, although they did expect him to turn up for the occasional game. The only way the move could have worked out worse was if Posh sang the before each game.

Meanwhile, Sir Alex Ferguson is standing up for the Glazers. He says he has money to spend but doesn't want to spend it. This is feasible as he has a decent squad, and he is a Scotsman.

One concern though is the number of players at the "veteran" stage of their careers. Manchester United's starting line-up is beginning to look not so much a football team as a post-office queue.

Ryan Giggs, Paul Scholes, Michael Owen, Wes Brown, Edwin van der Sar, and Rio Ferdinand have all long turned 30 while Gary Neville has long turned the stomach.

They're putting the old in Old Trafford - how can they be pushing for the title this season when so many of their players are pushing 40?

I speak as someone well qualified to talk about advancing years - these days my back goes out more often than I do.

With Fergie reportedly happy with his current squad, the United old-timers could very well be sent into battle from day one of the new season and that makes the latest market famed by bookies Bodog look very interesting indeed.

They are betting on the average age of United's starting XI on the opening day of the Premier League season - it's called a starting XI rather than a starting 11 because the United players are more comfortable with Roman numerals - and offer 10-11 for over 29 and 10-11 for under 29. I have no idea, however, if that is in Bodog years.